I Don’t Belong Here

It took me a long time to understand why I’ve always felt like I don’t really belong in this world. I couldn’t describe it, but something was missing in my life. There was a hole, and I always expected the next “thing” to fill it: friends, experiences, a long-term relationship, pets, a baby, even church every Sunday, but I was left feeling incomplete.
In my darkest hours, I had all but lost my faith in God. It wasn’t so much that I thought He didn’t exist, but I resented Him for making me live this imperfect life. If He had the power to make it easier, why wouldn’t He? As a last ditch effort, I picked up The Purpose Driven Life: a book that I purchased years ago, intending to read, but just never got interested.
I committed to reading it daily with no belief that it would change my outlook.
But as I got further and further into it, I realized something that changed my thinking:
I’m supposed to feel like I don’t belong. Because I don’t. And you don’t.
And all of those times when I wondered why God didn’t make this world perfect, without hunger, hurt, or betrayal, I just wasn’t considering that God did not create us for this world. We are called to join him someday in heaven, in paradise, in peace. This life on earth is merely a stepping stone in God’s plan for us. 
Sometimes I think “This is such a long time to endure sorrow and struggle!”. But the years we spend on earth will be crumbs compared to eternity in heaven with God. And when I remember that, suddenly my troubles seem so small.
It’s comforting to live knowing God has bigger plans for us. This life is amazing, but this is just our trial run! 
If we look to this earth for fulfillment, we will never be satisfied. If we look to others for fulfillment, we will never be satisfied. 

Look to God. 

For anyone reading this, I’d highly recommend The Purpose Driven Life if you haven’t read it yet. It just gave me answers like no one else ever could. 

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