To My Son

To my son:

“My sweet baby boy, your World is about to change. Someday very soon, Mommy and Daddy are going to be gone for a couple of days and this time when we arrive back home, it will not be with Mickey themed toys in hand. No, this time the souvenir from our time away will be much different.

We’ve been talking about this for months and you’ve watched my belly grow. You’ve hugged it, kissed it, slapped it a few times…

You’ve called it “baby”.

You moved bedrooms, you learned to use the potty, help organize baby items and setup the nursery. You’ve enjoyed countless pregnancy cravings with me. You let me take naps on the couch, you snuggled me through emotional hormone changes-you’ve constantly reminded me that being Mom is my greatest blessing in life.

I am confident that there are a few wonderful things that I can help provide for you, those being:

1-A love for God

2-A happy home and family

3-…and a best friend to share it all with.

Luca, I know from experience that a sibling is one of life’s greatest blessings. I know you’re going to love this baby, grow with this baby, and someday thank God just to know this baby.

I am so completely confident that giving you a sibling is what is best for you.

All my love,

Mommy”

…But selfishly, I’m a little sad.

Don’t get me wrong. I cannot WAIT to meet this sweet baby, and I know I will love him/her as immensely as I love my husband and son.

But I cannot help but feel the chapter ending as my due date draws near.

The chapter of one on one snuggles with the boy that made me mom-the adventures we’ve shared-the laughs-the tears-the illnesses-the frustrations-the hugs-the goodnight kisses-the magical moments when we catch each other’s eyes.

Is this all going to come to an end?

Will my arms have room to hold the fragile newborn and rowdy toddler at the same time?

Will my schedule have room?

Will my “patience” have room?

Will my heart have room?

And it just makes me wonder..

Did I hug him enough?

Did I soak in every moment as best as I could?

Look. I KNOW I’m going to be over-the-moon filled-with-joy to have both of these sweet kids in my life. I know it’s all going to be ok and this isn’t the end of my relationship with my son. I KNOW this is the end of a chapter but the beginning of a new and somehow even greater era of our lives.

I can’t help but feel like this is probably a common emotion for parents about to add to the family. It is bittersweet. At least until that moment when my son and his new sibling meet, then I have a feeling I’ll be a bucket of happy tears.

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