Better

Most of you know that I’ve been struggling with PPD and whacky hormones for the better part of the last 3 years. Navigating potential mental illness, family, marriage, etc has all forced me to take note of what “works” in my life and what does not. I’ve been blessed with some great insight recently that I’m excited to share:

Guys, no one wants to hear this is the answer to anything, but: WORKING OUT.(I’m just playin’ it’s more than that)

I have been so frustrated with my Mom bod. I finally buckled down and have been working out daily in an attempt to combat the lady in the mirror. But bigger than that, I’ve realized that working out allows me countless opportunities to exceed my own expectations. Because in life, I kind of expect a lot of myself and my life.

At all times, I want: my kids happy, my house spotless, my nails freshly painted, my hair and makeup done, my marriage strong, my garden weeded, my kitchen smelling of something amazing, my art studio full of incredible paintings, my calendar full of date nights & fun adventures with the kids, my Insta carefully curated, my blog inspiring & helpful, my spiritual life flourishing, the list could go on forever.
All of that sounds amazing, but I don’t know that it’s possible for the stars to align and for allll of it to be true for my everyday life.

I want it ALL.

But I am lazy af.

So when I hope in front of a screen and sweat like I’m chasing donuts-it feels amazing. As much as I want to take a break, modify, or shut the tv off…a lot of those urges are answered with endurance.
“Just ONE more move” I tell myself until the workout is done.

When I’m breathing heavy, covered in sweat, and ready to quit but I DON’T..I’m in awe of myself. I know that I went further than I could have. I know that I pushed even when I could have justified taking it easy.

The “high” that I get from that fuels me in every aspect of my life.

Being a handy stay at home Mom has allowed me similar opportunities. Like when the furnace breaks in the middle of the night, and I know nothing about them…but I tinker and bypass switches and play “HVAC Repairman” until it is fixed. There’s nothing like knowing I’ve helped keep my family warm through a cold winter night.

Or when I manage to replace a ceiling fan, fix the washing machine, install a gate, replace a light fixture, replace outlets, etc.(Literally things that ANYONE can do with a little help from trusty Google) I can go away from those situations knowing I did something that is not expected of me AND I saved our family some money not having to hire someone.

Or when my toddler has pushed me to near insanity, but I reel it back in and don’t sell him to the circus.

Maybe it’s just me…but being able to exceed my expectations, has lifted my spirits and given me a great sense of confidence.  I am never going to be perfect, but when I’m able to be better than even I thought I could be, well it’s pretty special, and it’s actually pretty attainable. It’s really just a practice of discipline; of wanting to quit but pushing harder, demanding more of ourselves.

I think a lot of us fall into a routine where we get comfortable being “less-than”. I am totally guilty of looking at my life with “mental illness” eyes and accepting less than my best, or even just better. When we are not aligned with our potential, I think it can create an uncomfortable sense of imbalance. I don’t need to feel like the best, but I do need to feel better than I was yesterday.  Anyways, Just push yourself. Try a little harder–just a little! And let me know how it goes. 😉

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *